May 2011

he’s just like me: wants to keep everything. He came up to me with a broken syringe he found in the street (the kind they give you with children’s medicine) and when I told him to throw it away he said “But it’s for my collection”!!! At least I’ve grown out of the desire to keep broken stuff! Heh.

He wet the floor last Wednesday night, and it’s debatable if he did it again last night (Jack was soaked through, so it’s a possibility). That’s roughly once a week since Tj left. We had some late nights, though…so I’m gonna enforce naps every day this week.

We told Max Tj was deploying earlier than we’ve ever told him any big news. I think my usual delay stems from that one time when I was growing up and we were going to have some family friends visit us; Mom told us weeks beforehand…I remember how looooong it seemed till they came. I told her I wished she’d not told me till the day before. I guess that’s my reasoning for always telling Max stuff at the last minute. (I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I’m a horrible procrastinator/extremely forgetful. Heh.)

Anyway, a month or so before Tj’s deployment we told Max Dad was going on a long trip. One of the reasons I told him ahead of time was because we were talking about it so much; I figured he was old enough to handle the news, and it was easier not to have to hide when we talked. Not too long after we told him I went upstairs one morning and found pee on the floor of the boys’ bedroom! Needless to say I was stunned. I brought Max upstairs and casually asked him about ‘this spot on the floor’. He seemed/was completely innocent. I don’t think he’s developed the wiles enough to lie well to me. I think he sleepwalked and peed on the floor! His pants were dry, and Jack (if he could get his pants and diaper off) can’t put his own diaper back on…so it wasn’t him. Sooooo….. Well I told Max he must’ve done that, but I didn’t fuss at him.

It happened again, probably 3 weeks later. And then again about another week later. I knew I should be recording when it happened, but I didn’t. I started thinking that maybe he wasn’t so innocent the other times, but I’m still 100% convinced that the first one was out of his control. I kept the talks fairly neutral, but did say he needed to not do that…he’s old enough to know better…he’s a big boy…that sort of thing. The next two times I asked him about the spots he kept trying to tell me Jack did it, or maybe the cat (that was under the house) did it; I even had him tell me that maybe God did it!I figured that if he did it after Tj left I’d probably spank him.

Tj left on Friday morning; Max did it again Monday night. I went in to get the boys for therapy and saw the spot, but Max was still sleeping. I figured then that he was either doing it at night before he went to bed (out of anger or anxiety b/c his dad left) or that it really was sleepwalking like I’d first assumed. I don’t think he remembers doing it any time, but he acts really guilty when I ask him about it (except for the first time).

Tj left me some info and a phone number to the MFLC (Military and Family Life Consultant). I called and set up an appointment with a psychologist yesterday. We spent an hour talking and basically he’s not that worried. Because Max is young, is an extremely sound sleeper, this hasn’t occurred too often, and Tj just left the guy thinks this should clear up soon. As time goes by w/o Tj and we continue to have home stability the psychologist thinks it will naturally taper off. He did tell me to make Max responsible for cleaning it up (show him where I keep a 50/50 solution of water/vinegar and let him get a towel, etc.), limit drinks 2 hours before bedtime, make him potty before bed, and maybe teach him to use positive visual imagery. He thought I should check on him when I went to bed just to see if it was happening before bedtime. He also said I should give him the ‘you’re the man of the house while Daddy’s gone’ speech. I thought this was funny…I’d been trying to shield Max from his dad going (by not mentioning it too often), but he thought giving him more ‘responsibility’ was the better thing to do. I guess we’ll see.

On the nothing has changed front: I still hate to blog. I hate writing, I hate remembering I need to write, I hate trying to think up some cool post name (which is why I absolutely never do). But I do love reading my old posts. Sigh.

Everything has changed: Jack is talking!!! At almost 4 he’s finally really talking. Sunday I had a meeting the kids had to attend with me (since Tj is deployed as of last Friday and the childcare wasn’t open yet). Max was all set with a movie, Jack made do with colors/books, empty Easter eggs, the blinds on the window, marching around the room chanting gibberish, a corn dog, jellybeans, etc. He did pretty well, but when I went to drop him off an hour later at childcare he really balked. He held onto the door and wouldn’t go in and was just generally fussing. Finally he said ‘please’. As always I asked him ‘please what?’ never expecting an answer…usually he just fussed and repeats ‘please’ a million times but never makes it to what he wants. This time he said ‘house’!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I almost cried. How wonderful to hear my boy talk. He’s done that a (very) few times lately, but this was the most abstract thing he’s asked for. Amazing. It’s amazing how wonderful things are when you have to work so hard for them. The first time he really asked for something was also last week (April 23). He’d been playing in the bath for an hour and started fussing. I asked him what he wanted and he said “Jack, down, play”. Brilliant. Thank you, God.

I took everything Max did for granted. I remember standing at the back glass door of our house in Georgia and holding Max when he was brand new, and just thanking God for how healthy and wonderful Max was. I thought I wasn’t taking him for granted. But seeing how hard we (and the therapists) have to push to get Jack to do anything…it makes me realize how little I had to do with Max learning everything he’s learned.

Thursday I walked into therapy to pick Jack up and his shirt was on backwards…the lady said Jack put it on himself!!! Another miracle.

The flip side is how long we’ve gotten to enjoy this ‘baby’. The soft sounds that come out of his mouth are so sweet. Those sounds that you don’t usually hear after the first 18 months or so. His hands are just becoming more boy-like, but they’re still soft and fat. His little body is so sweet. Max is so tall and skinny; boy, strong, not really sweet. Great, but not baby. It’s hard to describe, but I think anyone who’s seen their baby grow to childhood knows what I’m talking about.

Jack is really drinking out of a cup now. I still give him sippys when we go anywhere, but at home if I’m not in a rush (like every Tue/Thur/Sun morning) then I’ll give him a cup. Don’t know if I’ve blogged this yet, but he had been doing really well, but as soon as he spills more than a drop he would just pour the rest out and play in it. Silly kid. Today he had a cup at all 3 meals and didn’t spill more than a couple of drops each meal…and he didn’t pour it out after, either.